Thursday, July 22, 2004

Understanding What I do Best

One would think that after a person has graduated from college, had a career, obtained a Master's degree & even been a missionary for more than a decade I would have figured out by now what I am good at.  Yet, it seems that I am always rediscovering what I have been created to do. 

Yesterday, I realized I am a visitor.  That I am in my element when I am free to just listen to my heart and go.  I have always enjoyed it but I noticed that myself esteem was built up after being almost to tears.  It is one of those things that I can't explain but I just know that I need to do it.  The prompting in my heart is an imminent NOW.  Some have asked me how I know or how did I know to come at that particular moment when they needed help.  The truth is I don't know...But God must know because the end result is fruitful.

Even though such experiences are so empowering and uplifting, it is incredible how easily I can be convinced that it would be better for me to do things to please others instead.  Often I just set my personal desires aside to get approval only to be disappointed.  The result being, that I feel unacceptable, unappreciated and unwanted.  Then I start behaving in ways that only pushes those people I want to be close to away.

Last night as I walked home from my friend's house I was strengthen, encouraged, & feeling a bit taller.  Not because I had accomplished in great feat, or given any incredibly wise advise but just that I had been obedient to the Lord's voice in my heart to VISIT.

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