Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Sunday, January 07, 2018

The Battle...Faithful Obedience vs. Sexy Numbers

Over the years, I've struggled with the truth that God has called me to be faithful to a group of people in a land that is not considered "sexy" in the realm of missions. It is a place where planting a church or "expanding" the Kingdom in numerical ways is difficult. I have to continuously remind myself that Jesus has asked me to be obedient to His voice & all the results are in His hands. And He will fulfill His promises, as well as, accomplish all His plans. Because that is what His Word says.
Nonetheless, it is difficult to not compare oneself with others. Or to somehow feel that you have fallen short when you can't/don't "produce" the "numbers" that are expected.
For me the beginning of 2018 has been just that...disappointing. And the mental battle has been great as I have been ill since December 27, 2017. Physically, weak & sluggish, and unable to start the new year well.
Today I'm finally beginning to feel a bit more like myself. I'm growing in Hope that I can finally start this year and get some good traction for the tasks the Lord has set before me.

Thanks for sticking with me.

Below is an article that has encouraged me. An Article of Hope for Faithfulness

Monday, September 25, 2017

Embracing the Large Pot of Mixed Emotions

My bags are packed again...mostly. The cat sitter is arranged. The bills are paid. All is left is the final walk through to make sure I have all my cables & my bags aren't overweight. You would think that 8 weeks at "home" I would filled with excitement. It is hard to describe the strange bag of emotions that I have learned to keep at bay. Joy, sadness, homesickness, uncertainty, feelings of being overwhelmed, not enough time to see everyone & do everything....and many more.
And there are all those thoughts & feelings about leaving my HOME, my friends, my sweet kitties, my bed. To spend 8 weeks living in a different bed, home, city...enjoying sharing all that Jesus is & has done. All the time hoping I don't forget where I am, who I am with & what I've just said & what I hope to say.
I always struggle with the word "furlough"...I looked it up once & learned that it means "relieved" of duty. Yet we use that same word to describe a missionary returning to their home country. For me it doesn't feel much like "time off".
This trip I'll be in 4 states in the 1st four weeks. Four of my supporting churches have had a Lead Pastor change in the last year. Although I'm excited for each of these faithful servants of the Lord & the new adventure with Jesus they are embarking on...my own heart knows the reality of uncertainty...even more than that starting over. Building a new relationship with a new Pastor.
Will they like me?
Will they have the same commitment to the work here?
Will they cut the churches financial support?

But of all these the most challenging is having to start over again building a new meaningful relationship with the new Pastor. The hardest thing is trying to establish a significant connection in which you/me feel known.

I look forward to seeing many of you very soon!

I'm attaching an article that I think does an excellent job expressing what I've attempted to share here.
Keeping Track of Sorrows