Saturday, July 24, 2004

Recognizing the Battle

Well, I guess this is a perfect example of the battle.  This is the second time I'm attempting to make this entry because somehow I just lost the completed one a minute ago.  Here we go again.

Tomorrow (actually now it is today) we leave for Foursquare's U-turn Europe youth camp in the Netherlands.  I have been going to camp with young people longer than I care to disclose.  By now nothing should surprise me but for some reason I seem to hope that Satan will just give it a rest and realize that he doesn't stand a chance to win the war.  However, he still fights like he can win something.

The last week or so has been full of his antics.  One young person mysteriously backout on Thursday without any communication, we had to hunt him do so to speak to find out he wasn't going.  Another person's grandfather died this week.  One person had huge conflict with a family member that leave them in tears.  Two people were going to back out because they just couldn't humble themselves to receive scholarship money to go.  Satan truly roams around like a roaring lion seeking who he can destroy.  I'm looking forward to the moment we are all on the bus and on our way.  Only than will I be sure that everyone really is going. 

During this time I have been able to tell that I am on the forefront.  There have been moments when I have felt like an icebreaker.  It is as if my head is slamming headlong into huge chunks of ice.  Sometimes it is rigid religious thinking, or rude comments, maybe it is a hurtful piece of gossip.  There has been a pounding of the ice that has made it mark on my heart and my self esteem.  I found myself feeling small, unacceptable and unwanted.  I think that we all have such feelings from time to time.  However, this time the intensity is much greater than anything I have ever experience before. I wish I could say I handled these feelings like a pro...but all I could do was cry.  I am so glad that my Heavenly Father know how to comfort me.  Then I can feel the cleansing therapy of tears cried in safety and hope of a brighter day. 

My prayer for the next week is that these young people would be open to receive all that God has for them.  That somehow the Holy Spirit would help them to set aside their thoughts and expectations of what and how things SHOULD be, and be open to the adventurous life we can have with Jesus that is far beyond anything we can think or ask.  My hope is that each one of them would begin to see life as it is filtered through God's loving hands, vs. filtering God through how they have experienced life. 

Thanks for your prayers and support,

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