Sunday, May 28, 2006

Road to Recovery

In a time when many people are talking about recovery of one sort or another, whether its recovery from drugs, alcohol, divorce, abuse, overeating, under-eating or even just plain recovery from life itself, many seasoned church goes need recovery from their church involvement. Those of us who have walked with Jesus a long time often find ourselves so consumed with “church life” we have lost sight of our True Love. I think for me, I have gotten used to adjusting to the expectations of what others have defined it means to be part of God’s Body.

In essence, we need to “recover” the original DNA of our first encounter with the Greatest Love of our life, Jesus.

I know for myself my heart and soul have been ravaged by “doing good” & “serving”. The heart wrenching disappointments of investing my heart, soul, & life into people who in an instead turn & reject me & the Lord I serve.

The weariness that comes from too much to do, too little time, & being too tired and overwhelm to do anything topped by guilt that rolls in light thick grey smoke across the floor, filling the room & over taking your joy.

In it & through it all there is a cry deep pulling me to “Return”. Often not know to what exactly. Just to Return.

Where? To What? Why? How?

“You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first…” Revelations 2:5

For a long time I knew & recognized where I had fallen from but why & how I really didn’t know or understand. I had “done” everything that was “asked” &/or expected of me & often more but I seemed to be lover than ever.

I found myself looking for “someone”…”anyone” to “help” me. My heart was crying out; “Don’t you see me? Doesn’t anyone see the needs?” My thoughts, attitude & emotions went from disbelief, to shock, anger, blame, & resentment. But repentance never crossed my mind – Why? I WAS doing God’s STUFF…wasn’t I?

“Repent”: Recently I realized that I needed to repent for putting the STUFF between me my truest love…Jesus.

“Do the things you did at first”
What things?
I’m going to church. I’m serving. I’m tithing. What things?

What did I do at first?

A truly repentant heart
Everything I did was motivated and empowered by the Love I experienced from Jesus.
The reading of God’s Word with daily anticipation of a visit of His visit
There is nothing like the thrill of meeting with friends who also were waiting daily for & experiencing the adventure of God’s greatness.

Everyday is adventure of the Lord’s daily guidance, provision, and leading; every change and difficulty an opportunity to see My God work.

Lord thank for your patience with me and my journey.
Help me to keep my eyes on Jesus

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