My bags are packed again...mostly. The cat sitter is arranged. The bills are paid. All is left is the final walk through to make sure I have all my cables & my bags aren't overweight. You would think that 8 weeks at "home" I would filled with excitement. It is hard to describe the strange bag of emotions that I have learned to keep at bay. Joy, sadness, homesickness, uncertainty, feelings of being overwhelmed, not enough time to see everyone & do everything....and many more.
And there are all those thoughts & feelings about leaving my HOME, my friends, my sweet kitties, my bed. To spend 8 weeks living in a different bed, home, city...enjoying sharing all that Jesus is & has done. All the time hoping I don't forget where I am, who I am with & what I've just said & what I hope to say.
I always struggle with the word "furlough"...I looked it up once & learned that it means "relieved" of duty. Yet we use that same word to describe a missionary returning to their home country. For me it doesn't feel much like "time off".
This trip I'll be in 4 states in the 1st four weeks. Four of my supporting churches have had a Lead Pastor change in the last year. Although I'm excited for each of these faithful servants of the Lord & the new adventure with Jesus they are embarking on...my own heart knows the reality of uncertainty...even more than that starting over. Building a new relationship with a new Pastor.
Will they like me?
Will they have the same commitment to the work here?
Will they cut the churches financial support?
But of all these the most challenging is having to start over again building a new meaningful relationship with the new Pastor. The hardest thing is trying to establish a significant connection in which you/me feel known.
I look forward to seeing many of you very soon!
I'm attaching an article that I think does an excellent job expressing what I've attempted to share here.
Keeping Track of Sorrows
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